May 2012
9 posts
What's wrong with our society.
Kim Kardashian: I'd like to marry this dude and spend $10 million dollars on a publicity wedding please oh and then 72 days later I'd like a divorce
America: Well sure why not?
Britney Spears: I want to get hitched in a chapel in Vegas and have the marriage annulled fifty-five hours later because I didn't know what the hell I was doing
America: Whatever you want!
Carmen Electra: I want to get married in Vegas to this basketball player and then annul the marriage nine days later cuz we were both drunk lololololololololol
America: Okay, sounds like fun!
Gay couple: We would like to get married and spend our lives together and possibly adopt unwanted children to give them a good home and -
America: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOTS THAT IS DISGUSTING AND WRONG YOU DEFILE THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE SO GTFO
May 20th
189,074 notes
THE BEST TRAIN CONVERSATION I HAVE EVER OVERHEARD
Man 1: But I'm not Gay!
Man 2: Yeah, but if you WERE. Thor or Loki?
Man 1: but I'm not!
Man 2: IRRELEVANT! THOR OR LOKI!
Man 1: honestly?
Man 2: THOR OR LOKI!
Man 1: probably Iron Man.
Man 2: SERIOUSLY? TONY STARK?
Man 1: yeah. I'd love to be Robet Downey Jr's bitch. God, that man....
Man 2: ooh I know what you mean. how would he proceed?
Man 1: well we'd be having dinner and he'd have his hand on my leg and he'd whisper in my ear and tell me exactly what he was going to do to me.
Man 2: oh yeah..
Man 1: and then his hand'd go further to the top of my leg and start grasping my-
Random Woman: EXCUSE ME THERE ARE CHILDREN ON THIS TRAIN.
*awkward silence*
Man 2: ...and you said you werent gay!
May 20th
70,868 notes
May 7th
2,894 notes
80 years from now;
Me: //falls//
Granddaughter: GRANDMA ARE YOU OKAY?
Me: //laughs// HELP I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP
Granddaughter: Grandma this isn't the time for your old 2000 jokes!
Me: WATCH OUT WE GOT A BADASS OVER HERE
Granddaughter: GRANDMA!
Me: YOLO
i really LOL'd
May 7th
178,087 notes
80 years from now;
Me: //falls//
Granddaughter: GRANDMA ARE YOU OKAY?
Me: //laughs// HELP I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP
Granddaughter: Grandma this isn't the time for your old 2000 jokes!
Me: WATCH OUT WE GOT A BADASS OVER HERE
Granddaughter: GRANDMA!
Me: YOLO
May 7th
178,087 notes
May 7th
28,495 notes
May 7th
173,191 notes
May 6th
36,782 notes
hes so confuing
May 6th